In Search of the Elusive Ronnie Pfeffer

[D-Gap-Willie]

After calming down from the frantic ending of the recent Argo game in Regina, I decided, as I frequently do, to go look at the game stats to get a different perspective on the result.

After a brief diligence of poring over the numbers for Harris and Glenn, I decided to do a little inspection of the results for Swayze Waters' replacement, namely one Ronnie Pfeffer. My curiosity was driven not only by the week-long questioning of Pfeffer's abilities by the Argonaut faithful, but also by my inner craving to see success for former CIS stars.

I scanned down to "Field Goals/Converts" in the game Stats, and was horrified to discover that Pfeffer had not kicked any Field Goals/Converts. I was deeply puzzled, since I had clearly remembered a 50 yard Argo field goal early in the game. I looked again, but I was greeted only by a blank space, where I had expected to see Ronnie's accomplishments. I made a mental note to go and get the doctor to check my medications the next day.

After a brief period of recovery, I moved forward undaunted. I remembered thinking about Ronnie's nice first punt of 47 yards, and checked down to where the stats for punts were listed. Even more horror overcame me. Pfeffer had not punted either. I was greeted by yet another blank space where his punts should show. Determined to prove that I was not becoming senile, I switched over to the Roughriders column of stats. Sure enough, it showed that the Riders had returned a total of three punts --- but where had these punts come from, and where, oh where was Ronnie Pfeffer ?

I sat at my keyboard, unsure whether I was coming apart or my world was coming apart around me. I decided that these were only game stats and unimportant in the larger scheme of things. I was not delusional! I would check the CFL league stats, which are much more reliable - and then forget about all this nonsense. I opened the league Stats and looked under Punting ---- Ronnie Pfeffer did not exist -- not one punt ! I desperately rushed to Kicking Points. I was certain that Ronnie had kicked some points, and the CFL would not let me down -- we all had the commish's word on that --- but --- but -- but - Ronnie Pfeffer has never scored in the CFL !

Meanwhile, I'm resting comfortably and the nurses are very good to me. The doctor says that such delusions are usually temporary.

[ArgoRavi]

Strangely enough, he isn't showing up on the stats page for the Calgary game either. There is a glitch somewhere in the system.