How to Bench-Press a Camel.

[Midnight Blue]

Ok. I've never bench-pressed a camel.

But if I ever was to try, I would imagine that the first step would be to get under the camel, without having the camel kick you in the balls. You could try smooth-talking, or perhaps flooding the camel's water dish with booze (it would have to be PURE ALCOHOL, since camels have an inordinate amount of liquid-carrying capacity).

It is probably best that you first try this stunt with a regular Tabby Cat. This makes total sense.

A Tabby Cat, even if she tried, to kick you in the balls, would probably just come off, as a less-than-delicate, affectionate, tickle.

(To be continued.)

[Midnight Blue]

Right then. Once you have mastered the art of bench-pressing a tabby-cat, it is time to progress to heavier animals. An armadillo. It is armoured, which will prevent you from trying to poke it delicately, in order to see if you will get a rise out of it (assuming you're a Chick --- Guys will just kick it in the head).

Anyway, we are working our way toward Yaks (isn't everybody?).

To be continued....

[Midnight Blue]

It is a big step, from bench-pressing an armadillo, to working your way up to a Yak. Luckily, there are a variety of intermediate creatures along the way, to ease you into your eventual dilemma. Such as a wolverine. Ok, never mind ... bad example. Of course, there is the Dachshund. Generally tame, but they really get pissed off when you try to bench-press them. Probably because, everyone in the world, has probably tried to press a D.Hund. I mean, they're just so perfectly shaped for it. Like an anorexic Super Model, but with two extra legs.

Ok, let's not get off topic.

Camels present their own special challenge. They're ornery.

Hit them where it counts first. With a two-by-four. This should make them more receptive. Assuming you're into receptive Camels. Me, I just want to try to bench-press them, at least once, so that I can brag to my friends.

Life is what you make it.


(To be continued, with any luck.)

[Midnight Blue]

Juggling cats is also a great exercise. Especially for the cats.

Trust is built in this way. And sometimes resentment. If anyone can invent a cat-parachute, you will still be only suspiciously admired, by cats. It's a start. Then you can work on developing an anti-pregnancy bra.
Good luck.

Perhaps you can wrap it around a tree. But then there are beavers. Never mind.

[Midnight Blue]

Someone, eventually, will think of a way to catapult a camel. I figure, well, it might as well be me. I mean, here I am, enjoying the beauty of the pre-dawn sky, and trying to bench-press a camel. If this wasn't a Football forum, people would never believe me. But seriously, this is what some Football fans do, when drinking, and enjoying life. Anyway, before we catapult camels, much less bench-press them, we need some video proof. But I've only seen some squirrel catapults. I'll try to access them on the world wide web, with any luck.

[Midnight Blue]

Heh heh.

[1argoholic]

I hope that squirrels gets into that buttplugs house and rips it apart. Karma will get Mr. Buttplug and his music was lame soilage. I prefer animals to humans so I hate that CRAP.